week 8- parent/child relationships

This week i wanted to write about parent-child relationships, as it talked about it in chapter 13. Although my parents and i have not always seen eye to eye, i am thankful of our relationship now. In the book it had talked about a 15 year old girl, who thought her mother was the dumbest person on the planet. I know that myself, i thought my parents had no idea what i was going through, and i thought because of that they were being unfair. As i got older, i now know that my parents were in fact being fair, they would make decisions based on what was best for me and my well being. I think that most teenagers go through that stage with their parents. and until the teenager grows and matures more, its something that all parents usually have to go through as well.

My parents have had an empty nest for quite some years now. In chapter 13 it says that most (roughly half) young adults move back to their parents house at least once after they first move out. Out of 4 children, only 1 moved back in with my parents. Now, im not sure if its my parents that are lonely or if its their 'midlife crisis' talking, ever since i starting going back to college, my parents have repeatedly tried over and over again to try to get me to move in with them and go to the college closer to their house. And although it probably wont ever happen, i guess it never really gets old to have your parents want to be able to spend as much time with you as possible.

week 7-divorce

these are chapters that i really enjoyed reading. not because i am married, or divorced or anything like that. but because i feel like i am witnessing more and more divorces now days.

i think that marriage and relationships are a valuable gift that shouldnt be taken lightly. I think that in most cases it is taken too lightly. I feel like alot of people are getting married for the wrong reasons, such as the pressure from a family memeber, or due to a pregnancy, etc.  i hate the fact that it seems divorce in the new normal. Just from seeing couples going through divorces around me, it seems most couples are not trying to work out their differences, they'd rather just jump right to getting a divorce, just because they can. it baffeled my mind that the united states has one of the highest divorce rates in the world, and italy has the lowest. what are couples in italy doing differently then couples in the united states? Im not saying that i am totally against divorce, i mean if someone isnt happy, why make them suffer. but i do feel that most couples should at least try to work on things before taking the easy way out.

is the divorce rate getting higher because people have been getting married at a younger age? is it because people dont talk about one anothers morals and beliefs before tying the not?

Week 6

I think that last weeks “parenting styles” kind of fit into this week’s topics a little bit. This week it talked about teenage development, physically and mentally.  You might be wondering how? But I feel like as a young adult going through puberty, you never really know what you’re going to get.  And as a parent you should be there for your teenager as they go through what could be some rough changes.  Even if it is just emotional support. Of course you're going to get the typical 'uninvolved' parent, who wants to have little to do with the teens emotional needs, and with the teens body changing, as well as mood, maybe an uninvolved parent is what triggers a teenagers appearance or lash for attention? Maybe theres something behind why a teenager is obese? maybe theres a reason why a teenager is anorexic? But, as a parent, they should be trying to find the root to whats going on, instead of helping it along.

Reading the article “teens before their time” was almost scary to me. Reading that some girls start growing breast and/or pubic hair at the age of 6! I could not imagine the stress and anxiety that the parents must have letting their daughters out of their house. Let alone, the feelings of the young girl! She is too young to even begin to understand what is going on. In the book it talks about puberty, and how it can occur earlier for girls who have experienced family conflict or depression. But I couldn’t imagine how depressed a 6 year old could be, to kick start puberty. When I was 6 all I could think about was cartoons and/or toys. Its reading articles like this that scare me, about the thought of having a daughter. 

Parenting Styles

This week’s chapter on different parenting styles was very interesting to me. I was able to reflect on my own parents, friends’ parents, and even acquaintances’ parenting styles. And, I highly doubt ANY family is ever the exact same. Some might be similar, but different in another way.

                I would like to think of my parents as being in the Permissive Parenting category. Meaning they offered warmth and caring whenever needed, but had little parental control. Well, I guess I cant really say they didn’t have control, they definitely HAD control whenever they needed it. As I was growing up, my parents weren’t the typical ‘Parents’.  They more so acted as if they were my siblings and I’s friends, rather than parents. It’s nothing that I am ashamed of. I love the fact that I feel I can tell my parents just about everything.  And maybe that’s what they were going for, so that as children and young adults we would feel comfortable talking to them, instead of finding things out the hard way.  I do always think to myself how things would have been if they did things differently, for instance, if they were more structured, more rules and guidelines.

                One of my brothers (he is half, but that doesn’t matter to us, he’s still my BROTHER) was pretty much raised with his mother in California, and its nothing against her, I love her to death, back 15 years or so, she was the ‘Uninvolved Parent’ (She’s not anymore). She wouldn’t care what my brother was doing, who he was hanging out with, etc. Long story short, my brother was constantly getting into trouble, with drugs and the law and whatnot. So he often times moved up to my house with my parents. Going from an uninvolved parent to parents who cared even just a little bit, was hard on my brother.  He moved back and forth a handful of times trying to find the right thing to do, it was hard for him having a parent figure around and asking questions and whatnot. But as he got older, he finally opened his eyes to see that the world isn’t against him.