This week’s chapter on different
parenting styles was very interesting to me. I was able to reflect on my own
parents, friends’ parents, and even acquaintances’ parenting styles. And, I
highly doubt ANY family is ever the exact same. Some might be similar, but
different in another way.
I would
like to think of my parents as being in the Permissive Parenting category.
Meaning they offered warmth and caring whenever needed, but had little parental
control. Well, I guess I cant really say they didn’t have control, they definitely
HAD control whenever they needed it. As I was growing up, my parents weren’t
the typical ‘Parents’. They more so
acted as if they were my siblings and I’s friends, rather than parents. It’s
nothing that I am ashamed of. I love the fact that I feel I can tell my parents
just about everything. And maybe that’s
what they were going for, so that as children and young adults we would feel
comfortable talking to them, instead of finding things out the hard way. I do always think to myself how things would
have been if they did things differently, for instance, if they were more
structured, more rules and guidelines.
One of
my brothers (he is half, but that doesn’t matter to us, he’s still my BROTHER)
was pretty much raised with his mother in California, and its nothing against
her, I love her to death, back 15 years or so, she was the ‘Uninvolved Parent’
(She’s not anymore). She wouldn’t care what my brother was doing, who he was
hanging out with, etc. Long story short, my brother was constantly getting into
trouble, with drugs and the law and whatnot. So he often times moved up to my
house with my parents. Going from an uninvolved parent to parents who cared
even just a little bit, was hard on my brother. He moved back and forth a handful of times
trying to find the right thing to do, it was hard for him having a parent
figure around and asking questions and whatnot. But as he got older, he finally
opened his eyes to see that the world isn’t against him.
I can definitely relate to your blog. My parents were more of the Permissive style also. They were more friends than parents, but when I would do something completely bonkers, they would step in and become a more disciplinarian than a friend. I kind of enjoyed having it that way, only because it seemed easier to open up to them and let them know what was going on with me. Other friends I had in high school were not able to say that about their parents. So, it was kind of nice.
ReplyDeleteThat must have been difficult for your brother. I remember when I was a kid I always envied kids who had parents that acted like their friends and wished mine were more like that. Now looking back there are many things about my parents that I wanted to be different but I'm glad they didn't try to be my friends. There is a time and place for that when you are older that I think is more appropriate. Every generation has more of a certain type of parenting also. My parents were raised in a more authoritarian setting , many of my friends were raised in a permissive setting and many baby boomers are learning to be more authoritative. Somebody has to guide you through those years of mis-firing neurons :)
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